At first I didn’t make the connection. For some reason the question occurred to me this evening. I have social anxiety disorder. Really. I don’t have lots of money to waste. I don’t smoke anymore and second hand smoke stinks to me now…the list goes on.
I think I figured it out. When I sit at a slot machine and begin to play, I escape from reality. I am so concentrated on the game that I notice nothing around me. Nothing. I can sit at one machine for hours and never know what is happening around me.
The casino is one of the places I can go and do something mind-numbing for awhile. I don’t have to think about what’s going on in life. Just watch the reels spin, my fingers the control. And maybe win a little money, that’s just a bonus.
I’ve lost a lot of money and I’ve won a lot of money gambling. But that’s not why I do it. Are you ever shocked when you learn something about yourself like this? I don’t ponder why I do the things I do very often, but when I do… Dang! What have you learned about yourself recently?