Receptionist: Hello. Welcome to obamaflowers, my name is Valerie. How may I help you?
Customer: Hello. I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled, and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.
The words in this song… wayyyyy too familiar… parts of my life are described here… the pain, the love, the silence…
My daughter wanted rice for dinner… fried rice. It has taken me a long time to figure out how to make the rice crispy. It’s a little time consuming but soooo worth it!!!
I first cooked the jasmine rice in my rice cooker.
Meanwhile, I browned some beef cubes, added mushrooms, white wine, salt, pepper and some Mrs. DASH, let it simmer covered until all the liquid is reduced.
I removed the beef from the pan and transferred spoonfulls of cooked rice into the same skillet with chopped onion. I added a bit of olive oil to the skillet. I kept the heat at medium high and kept alternately pressing the rice with the spoon and stirring it gently.
When the onions were mostly translucent I lowered the heat, pushed the rice to one side and cracked 2 eggs into the skillet, scrambling them. I added some soy sauce and done!
I want to pick up the pieces of my shattered life… if that is even possible. But even if I could… if I did, would it really matter?
Kind of like the theory “if a tree falls in the forest but no one is there, does it make a sound? Does it matter?”
I’m afraid. Afraid of picking up a broken piece and cutting myself, like picking up broken glass from a picture that fell off a wall.
I’m afraid of not being able to find all the pieces, or that some of them are smashed beyond repair.
I’m afraid of accidentally dropping a piece as I try to put it back in place.
I’m afraid that the glue I use to put the pieces together will fail… won’t be strong enough.
I’m afraid that I can’t put the pieces together by myself. I need someone to hold them together while I apply the glue, or vice versa.
And what happens if I let go too soon… before the glue is completely set? Will it all come crashing down again?
Just thinking about it makes me feel overwhelmed. Then I think of just being still. If I just stay here… be still… do nothing… I will be safe. Nothing can crash down on me because it’s still all over the floor, in pieces.
I dare not move… I might step on one and hurt myself again. This mental anguish is just as painful as the physical pain I go through every single day. It’s always here, it’s not going to go away. Ever.
So considering all this… the easiest option is to be still. Not move. Not be happy or be excited… just be. Exist. Until I no longer do.
Urban Decay’s sale section has some very great deals…
Stardust Eyeshadows – $4
Lipgloss – $4
Eyebrow Box – $14
And some other stuff. But… Here’s the most EXCITING product.
Are you ready for this???
Remember the 2 Oz palettes, Glinda and Theodora?
Wellll…. the Glinda palette is on sale for $24!!!
It includes 8 eyeshadows, a purple 24/7 eyeliner and the Glinda lipgloss!!!!
This duo shade is called Aura and it is absolutely GORGEOUS. THIS PIC DOES IT NO JUSTICE!!!
This is the blue colorshift… still beyter in person but its sooooo perfect!!!
The pink part of Aura is gorgeous too but I prefer the blue.
Oz is the other duo shadow… very very bright silver and gold. Both are super pigmented and Very shimmery.
South, Tornado and… I forgot what thecool pink color is named… but they are all very pigmented and lovely!
Taking my time
Taking my dreams
no longer awake
ripped apart at the seam
where do I belong?
This wasn’t the plan
maps of my life
fall in the trashcan
Where do I go from here
Please make it perfectly clear
Cuz I can’t see anymore
No energy to dream anymore
Sunny skies… now covered with clouds
keep closing my eyes
the silence is so loud
crashing all around me
memories of what used to be
seem so far away now
they’re fading fast away now
Don’t comfort me… you can’t.
This wasn’t my plan.
This is a rant. So if you’re not into my rants… and I wouldn’t blame you… go read something more interesting
I can not believe people let money control them in such disgusting ways.
My 17 year old daughter has earned a full scholarship to college. She is a very intelligent, talented, caring, kind, beautiful young woman, inside and out.
Her father and I have joint custody of her but she has been living with me full time for the past 5 months. Her father and I agreed that I would claim her on my tax return, allowing her to receive a PELL grant, because she is fully living with me now and also because our younger son lived fully with me for 11 months last year, yet his father claimed him on his tax return last year.
Tonight her father called HER and told her that he was claiming her on his return this year because he needs the money. Of course she got upset and didn’t understand. I called him about this because A) she is a minor and he has no business discussing adult matters like his or my tax returns with her and B) I wanted to find out from him what is going on because what he told her is not what we had agreed upon.
He told me that because she got a full scholarship she does not need the PELL grant and should be working, not only while attending college, but right now. She had a job for almost a year when she gave 2 weeks notice to go to a better job that she was offered… her training date was set and everything. That job fell through on no fault of her own… which has NOTHING to do with a PELL grant or tax returns so I don’t understand why he even brought that up.
She has been searching for jobs ever since she left the last one, putting applications in everywhere in this small town… but hasn’t even gotten one phone call yet… which again, is beside the point.
She graduates from high school this year with a CNA and is guaranteed a job at the local hospital. She WANTS to work, but he is angry with her that she has no job right this second. Again, beside the point.
We had already AGREED on how the taxes would be filed months ago, and now he is going back on it because he wants to USE her for his own gain. I should also note that I am disabled and on a fixed income. I don’t receive enough money to be required to file a tax return, and I will receive no money from doing so… even if I was eligible to receive a refund, it would go to past student loans I accrued from going to nursing school before I got sick, had 2 brain surgeries and became DISABLED. I have nothing to gain from claiming my daughter on my tax return.
My daughter however, does, and she DESERVES it. She has worked so hard in school, at work (when she was working, again for nearly a year at only 16 years old), volunteering for many causes including the Special Olympics, school activities such as Choir and tutoring…
She has a plan. She plans to work as a CNA this summer and while she goes to college to become an RN. This is not a child who wants handouts or is lazy and just doesn’t want to work. The whole point of her going to college is to earn a degree and work in the medical field, helping others.
During my conversation with her father, he proceeded to tell me that if I claim her on my tax return he will make sure I go to jail. I am very sick… DISABLED… and he is threatening me over this. This is not about me, it is about our DAUGHTER and making sure we support her the best we can in her dream to become an RN. I gain nothing from even filing a tax return as I am not even required to. He wants to take that away from HER. He doesn’t even pay child support on her, and didn’t on my son either, when I had him in another state for 11 months. I never asked him to. He never offered.
I am so upset right now because my daughter is upset. She doesn’t understand this either. How could she? Her father makes a very good living, yet wants to take away her PELL grant so he doesn’t have to pay taxes.
Not only this, but he is ruining his relationship with our daughter by talking down to her for not having a job, talking me down to her because I am on disability, and hurting her feelings so much… she is scared to talk to him about anything or ask for any help from him for advice or anything.
Am I the only one who thinks this is very fucked up, or is it just me. Once again, this isn’t about ME. It’s about my daughter and her future.
Please comment and let me know your thoughts…